Why People Suck

I know not everyone sucks, but you have to admit that there are a good quantity of people out there who suck so much that they make up for the folks that don't.  The other day I lost the diamond part of my nose stud, probably from playing with it in the night, which I've woken myself up before by doing.  So, this morning, I had to try and find something small enough to not look absolutely ridiculous in my nose.  All I could find was a teeny tiny hoop that had been given to me as the second half of a pair of earrings.  It was one of those ones that you have to stick the thin end inside of the thicker hollow end to close, and there was no way I could get it by myself, so I had to ask my poor mom to help me.  She was extremely off put by the whole affair, and told me afterwards that she felt like violated.  I said, "Mom, I had to have a stranger stick his fingers up my nose to pierce it, how do you think that made me feel?!"  But, then again, I willingly put myself in that position, because I'd wanted my nose pierced ever since I was eight, which is when I first met Andrea.  Andrea was a highschool student who would come over to my house once a week to tutor me in Spanish. She was Bohemian, had a lesbian haircut, and a nose ring, and I thought she was just about the coolest person I had ever met.  But I digress...

I had to work at the library today, and I knew that the ring, which is much more noticeable than the stud, would garner me some unwanted attention, but I had no other choice than to wear it.  If I didn't, the hole would close up.  Surprisingly my coworkers thought it was adorable.  They said they loved it and that it was really cool, and by 12:28 pm, not a single patron had said anything negative about it.  Then this older woman came up to the desk to check out some videos and asked if we had Wait Until Dark, which is this amazing movie about a blind woman (played by Audrey Hepburn) whose apartment is broken into because, unbeknownst to her, their is a doll with drugs hidden inside it somewhere in her place.  So, I told this patron that I loved that movie and that we used to have it, but don't anymore.  She was really sweet and said that she thought we should have it, and that she was surprised someone my age would even know about, much less have seen it.  I said I had unusual tastes and that I thought Alan Arkin was hot back in the day!  She laughed as I checked her books out.  Then, out of nowhere she points at my nose and says, "Why did you do this?  It looks terrible.".  I kind of giggled nervously and then said, "Oh, I know.  It looks weird today because I normally wear a stud, but I lost a piece of it, so I had to wear this."  "Good," she said when I told her the part about the diamond getting lost.  She said, "I hope you lose that one, too.  It does nothing for you."  I didn't know how to respond.  I thought to myself, "Well obviously I think it does something for me, otherwise I wouldn't be wearing it."  Instead, I just laughed nervously and responded, "I know, the stud is much better."  She didn't understand the reason behind having anything decorative on your nose and left in kind of a huff.  I thought people had evolved past this ape-like pasttime of flinging poop at those they dislike, but apparently not, because I have metaphorical poop stuck all over my hair.