The Infamous Bumby Dance

Apparently, I have always had a desire to shake my grove thing in public.  This has not always garnered me the kind of attention one might think.  When I was very little, I'm talking like four or five, I used take all my clothes off at family gatherings, get up on a table (usually the one people were gathered around trying to eat at), and wiggle my bum.  I'd back right up into people's faces and shimmy that thing like it was going out of style.  I'd shake my arms and give coy looks and spank myself like a bona fide exotic dancer.  I have no idea where these 'moves' came from, or what instigated my need to make everyone aware of the glorious gift that was my bottom, but I can assure you I did not learn these behaviors from my parents.  If anything, my mom and dad were overprotective of me, and wouldn't even let me watch the more violent Disney movies that they thought might teach me hitting was ok.  No, folks.  This sexual kink came from somewhere deep inside me.  Some freaky little seed of the whore I would someday become.  Just kidding!  But really, I think it set the bar pretty high for exhibitionism...I mean, how can I top the naked table dances I was performing at age five?